How Zen of us!

So, to continue, I have been seeing someone. His name is Manny, and he has been great to me. Almost 6 months now. Longest actual meaningful relationship I've really ever had. Its made me realize why kinds of issues i have with dating, and long term commitment. Apparently I have many issues! But he has helped me work through them, and is still helping me!

The other night, we had a wonderful night out. We went down to Mandarin Oriental down on the Strip. We first went into the Mandarin Bar, on the 23rd floor. It was kind of slow in there, which meant we got an amazing two seater at at the window. It looked out onto the entire strip! Sometimes, when you live here, you kind of forget where you live, until your in a place like this! It was the most elegant thing i have done to date!

To start, we each chose a drink. I started with the Vanilla Skyline. It was a Champagne drink with strawberries and hennessy black. Manny started with an Easter Drop. It had Lemon Grass tea and Belvedere Citrus. They were both very good! So good, we got another round of drinks! I got the Passion Fruit Sour, which was very sweet. Manny got a Side Car. With these drinks we also tried a few appetizers.

After our drinks and appetizers, we headed down to MOzen. Thai restaurant offers many oriental dishes all in one place. I ordered the Murgh Makhani, which was a red curry meal with chicken. Manny ordered the Thai Green Curry with Prawns. Both we the best food, i swear, i have ever had! We were given different types of Naan, and also some more drinks. It was so amazing, we experienced food coma!

Stripper Karaoke

Tonight we are at the Hustler Club, doing Karaoke with Sheila! I have already sang" Speechless" by lady gay gay! And I am planning on singing" how many licks" and some "circus"! We got free bottle service with 6+ people, so a fun night here we come!

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The Excuse

Most people would try and create excuses as to why they have stopped posting, or talking to friends. Well... That's what I am about to do! I seeing someone!!! I have been in a relationship since the end of February. Well, he wants to make the official date March 1st, but my credit card statement says the end of Feb!

Here's the low down: He's a master level chef, and he's older! 38 now. 2 dogs, 2 cars, his own place, and loves my friends. When i had officially decided to not date anymore, it was when he showed up.

For all those years, people would say, "It's when your not looking that you find the right one!" In the back of my head, I would think, "I wonder what would happen if I had a sledge hammer right now..." But, I swear, it's true! And it was so weird, all of the sudden, being a 'We' and an 'Us'. To say, "No, I'm sorry. I'm with someone." When someone hits on me. Of course, that came along with the fact that I was actually being hit on more than once a month. And, on that note, when your actually with someone, people flock to you and hit on you! Its like there is a waiting room to my heart, when its closed! Again, weird to say, "no, go away" for the first time in my life.

But, there is my reason. And I'd like to say I'd post more often, but I can't actually say. Tonite is stripper Karaoke at the Hustler Club with the friends. Maybe I'll post from there!

me and laurenza

Another from crews'n

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night out

Me and lauren decided to have a night out! We ended up at crews'n, on sahara.

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To renew and reinvent!

Not really sure where to start, but I guess its always good to start at the beginning. I understand I have stopped writing, but I am again going to try and fix that. To begin, me and Carrie are no longer talking. Events happened; some my own fault, others not, that have split us up. This was a traumatic blow to me. I have known her for 9 years now, and to not have her in my life is hard. This happened maybe a month ago, or a month and a half. Since then, I have tried to deal with the depression that I have been in for quite some time now. Depression is not a good friend to have around. It molds you into someone new. I am no longer as depressed as I was, but its still there.

Now, for dating, there has been a general lack of dating in my life. I have gone on a few dates, and for about a month or so I was seeing a 20 year old. The sex was great, but we really didn't have much to talk about. He was interested in doing drag, and I just can't see myself dating a drag queen. No offense to the queens out there. I do love you all, and one of my best friends is a drag queen. But dating wise, I just don't think I can do it. Other men have come into and out of my life as well. I guess I am just conceding to adage that the dating scene here sucks. But, I do like to recant that statement by asking, "Show me a place where the dating scene IS GOOD." I am not saying that all men are horrible. I am just stating that dating here can be difficult.

For instance, while at work one day, (and I was not looking too cute by the way!) a young man cashing a check asked me to come and visit him at his work. He works at one of the local gay bars in town. Sweet guy, cute, funny! He had that child like quality in him that I admire! So, after much consideration, I decided to go see him at work. He flirted, smiled, asked if I was single! Seemed like it was going well! Then he informs me he kinda has a boyfriend.... His words were, "I'm in transition".... Oh, well then. How nice for you. Thank you for wasting my time. Here I thought you liked me, but no... You just wanted customers to come to your bar! Hence, dating here is hard.

So, to the present. I am still working for the check cashing/payday loan company. I am an assistant manager now at the closest payday loan company to the strip. We really get to see many interesting people, and its a fun store to work at! We like to say that our store is an HR disaster waiting to happen.

This past weekend was Halloween, which is actually a religious holiday for me! Halloween is the Wiccan New Year. So, I went out and had some fun. I had an OK time. I started at a warehouse party in the warehouse district, which was alright. I then moved to Charlies and met up with Co-Workers. Me and one of my close friends and Co-Workers then went to Funhog Ranch. Funhog has become one of my normal places to go when out. It is basically just a bar. No dancing, no shows. Just a bar to hang out at and be with friends! The next night, the Co-Workers and I met down at Fremont Street. It was crazy down there, and we had a blast! Again, me and the Co-Worker ended up going to Funhog. My friend picked up two guys and we went to 777 Inside the Hard Rock Hotel. It was a fun night, but I ended up alone, like normal. So there, you are all up to date! Hope to be writing more often!

Endings

It has taken some time, but I must officially admit to myself that its over. Bob and I have broken up... It happened about two weeks ago. We went to watch Valentines Day, and afterwords we each went home. We started talking on facebook, and after about half an hour, we mutually broke up.

At the time, it seemed all well and good. But after about a week, I realized I was single again. Its just like me to get so worked up over not being alone anymore, that it takes recovery time for me to realize that I am indeed, alone again. I don't know why or how, but it always burns inside of me when I'm single.

Now, my feelings are not without my angers towards relationships as well. At this current moment, I am fighting a battle. One side of me does not wish to be in a relationship. Hard work seems to never pay off. And most men are just crazy. They always judge you, and make you seem less than you are. And dating is expensive, and hard on the waste line! And then there is the idea of love, and how crazy we get just to have it! Or, when we are in love, how crazy we act! Some people will change their entire lives in order to be with the person they love, then loose it all. How is this healthy? How can, mentally, anyone agree to take part in this act of love that makes us question who we are, and what we do? All for an emotional charge in our being. Its worthless I say.

And then, that other small part of me begins to talk. That yearning for someone else to be with, to kiss, laugh, talk, enjoy. Someone who loves you and admires you. A yearning for a first kiss again, the rush of romance... The feeling of not having to deal with dating ever again... How i want to be with someone again.

This torrent of emotions is twisting inside of me like a rabid tornado. I hate this part...

First bad night!

Last weekend started out a bit rough. Friday night we all got together for Tapas at Devins. Very good food, and great friends! As I had mentioned before, iwe all decided to take a lovely trip to 8 1/2 Piranha, which is one of the dance clubs we like! Steven dressed up in drag, so it was looking to be a good night!

Unfortunately, the mirage soon faded. Steven got us a VIP room, which is actually quite expensive. There were quite a few of us, including &oe, who Steven brought with him. Joe is much younger, and appearently has not learned how to hold his liquor. He drank an entire bottle of vodka, and ended up throwing up all over me, and needed to be carried out of the club over the shoulder of a bouncer...

brunch!

Today we are having brunch at Firefly on Paradise and Flamingo, which features Tapas', mini appetizers that come together to form a meal! I ordered the Filet Minion mini sliders, which sounded good! Me and burgers... I swear its my Achilles heal!

Night Out

Friday night, and its out on the town we go! 8 1/2 Piranha is our destination tonight. Our friend Steven got us a VIP room! The text message that we all got says open bar till 12, so let’s hope we make it! The night started out at the home of the famous Devin Danger, who hosted tonight’s theme dinner, Tapas’. I made Empanadas, which could have used more salt. Next week we all plan to get together for Super Bowl Sunday, and enjoy friends, booze, and football!

In other words, Bob and I have been dating for almost R months now. I am starting to get scared. I've never been in a relationship for this long where things are just, normal. We don't fight, things just kind of flow and work. Last night I was laying in bed almost freaking out, and I realized... I have never passed the point of infatuation with everyone. I don't know what to do, or how to act. He probably thinks I am some sort of emotional freak... I sort of feel like one. Not sure what to do, just hold on and try to get through it without chasing him away...

Sometimes, its hard to admit certain things about yourself...

Bob and I have now been together about 4 weeks, and I think things are running smoothly! But being in a relationship really forces you to question yourself, and to admit a lot. I never truly felt like I ever dated anyone. It is more clear now than ever before that I had no idea how to do this relationship thing. It is hard to realize that after all the dates and men that were in and out of my life, I still didn't learn how to truly date any one of them.

With Bob, its simple and easy. He makes me smile, and likes me for me. That is really a hard concept for me to accept, since I never really felt that anyone could like the full me. He keeps asking where we are to go from here, as in, what is the next step. I am not sure what is scarier... The fact that there is a next step, or that im not sure what it is...

Who knew that within a short amount of time, thing could change so quickly?! As i mentioned before, I started to talk to Bob again. I came to find out that he had been thinking about me lately. Maybe my desire to speak to him again was a direct reaction to him thinking about me, like some sort of mind connection! Last time that I spoke to him, he had mentioned that when dating, he makes it a point to not speak to his ex's or men he dated ever again, so to my suprise, he responded to my text. Greatfully, I accepted his invitation to a dinner party for a girl he worked with, and the rest his history! We have been together for two weeks, and each time I see him, things just get better!
Last weekend, we went to go see The Blue Man Group! It turned out to be a pretty nice show at the Venitian! We also went and danced at Krave saturday night, which was pretty nice as well! This weekend, we will be attending the Train concert at Ceasars Palace, which appearantly is part of one of the local radio stations Christmas celebrations here in Vegas! We will also go shopping at Towne Square, where I hope to get some sushi! Everytime I see him I smile, and it is so unexpected... I had given up, and was done. I was sure dating was not for me for a while now, and contacted Bob on a whim, and I am happy I did! So heres to my sudden turn around, and heres to amazing friends to go with it! Life in the city, awesome!

From the ashes!

The fire quickly burned out, in a flash of white light and orange sunset, leaving a small pile of ash. Like snow, ash drifted softly in the air, remembering that which once existed. Caught in a moment of solitude, an awakening begins to happen. A movement here, a shift in dust there. Slowly, the pile of ash seems to move, giving life to this seemingly dead place. An eruption, and from the ashes comes a new being. As if same as before, but completely changed, this new being braves the new world with eager eyes and mind.

Life here in Vegas has definitely been an awakening and a renewal. I can hardly imagine my life almost 4 months ago in Corry. I remember the house. My bed, which I do miss; The girls at the Credit Union. But looking at it all, that's about all I miss.. Life here in the city is a great show of endless events. The only drawback of which I see so far is my job. The pay could be better, and it seems to be messing with my schooling and dating life! So, now on to the good stuff!

After Paco and I sort of went our separate ways, my dating life kinda stopped! I took some much needed time for myself. For some reason, I just couldn't get my mind back to being single. Its not like me and Paco were official, or got too serious. But in the grand scheme of Vegas, it was serious for me. Upon moving here, I decided to not do any serious dating, and just sort of have some fun. Some of my friends, or now old friends, made me feel like a whore of some sort for doing this. They would gesture that for me, dating was a sport, and I would be sleeping with many men. In all actuallity, I hadn't slept with anyone upon moving to Vegas. It took about 2 1/2 months before I finally gave in, and had sex.

The occurrence of Paco and the possibility of something more serious prompted an end to my dating sport, and I had to focus and maintain myself with just one person. Tho it only lasted 2 weeks, emotions can chance. From that point, it was hard for me to just jump back into the sport again. I just didn't have it in me. Add the fact that my job now has me working nights from 3:30 to 11:30 normally Monday through Friday doesn't help the situation. But, I think slowly I am getting back on the horse. I have began seeing Bob again, even though I sorta stopped trying to date. It is weird; I decided to stop dating, and all of the sudden, someone comes back into my life. And so, for now, I feel I have risen from the ashes and restarted, or I hope I have. I am taking it slow with Bob. No sex yet, which is partly by choice and by design. I went and got my STD testing done, and must wait till Monday for the results... So, for now I take it slow. Maybe this time around I'll learn how to actually do this thing called dating!

House Hife

Living in the city has definitely opened new eyes and life the party that s my life. To this point, I have never truly gone through the college "party" phase. While in Olean, I definitely did my small share of drinking. I remember one night, walking home from the bar drunk. At a stoplight, as I waited to cross, a cop car pulled up and stopped. My signal was given, and I was forced to cross the street, drunk, in front of this cop car. That was quite a task, I must say. Other nights I would fall asleep after throwing up what looked like coffee grounds. But those nights were very few and far between. Being here in Vegas has somewhat re-opened that door. Back in Corry, I feared going out to the small town bar. Homosexuality really is not looked at very highly back home. Here, I can go out and have a good night out with friends, which is so different and exciting at the same time, although this time, no throwing up!

This past weekend brought about some discussion with Paco. He made a joke about being a house wife, and in jest, I played along. We joked about in all night, but it brought back memories of my time in Olean, again. After two years of being with bob, I felt as if I was his house wife. Thanksgiving dinner consisted of me cooking everything the way his family wanted it. He would tell me if I could go out or not, my money was his. He was controlling, and sometimes mentally abusive. Sometimes even the smallest conversation about house wives can bring back memories. It all reminds me why I have made the choices I have in my life after moving home. School was a necessity, so I would never need to depend on a man to get anything. My family has actually gotten to the point that they don't know what to get me for my birthday or Yule. If I want something, I buy it! The time in Olean has also made me more independent, maybe a bit bitter as well! I also strived to have my own car, my own insurance, my own phone. Olean just opened my eyes that love doesn't mean fully handing over your life. I don't need a man to buy me stuff, ill do it myself!

Hopefully Vegas will present some opportunities to fully explore the ability of love to be enhancing, not controlling. Until then, I continue my new life! I am having so much fun, and I can't imagine my life not in Vegas!

Friendly Fued

I think that Carrie quoted it best when she said, "Those who say life isn't a party, doesn't live in Vegas!". This past week has been a blur! Let me bring you all up to speed...

So Carrie and I have taken a liking to Derek! Derek is a punk rocky/anti-emo/gay Queen of the Nile! He demands presence where ever he goes, and always has an audience! Upon first meeting, one might view him a stuck up and self centered. I must agree, I thought the same thing when I first met him. But once you get past all the glitz and glamor, Derek is an amazingly good friend with too much heart for everyone around him! He has taken us under his wing, per say, and is showing us what it is like to have some fun in Vegas! He offers nothing but friendship, and I admire that. Back in Erie, it seemed as though no one truly wanted to be our friends. I blame it on the weather. Dark and Gloomy feeds the depressed, so everyone is too wrapped up in their own doing to realize people care about them. The most interesting part of this man is not what he does, but what is around him. There is a small fued developing between him and Kris. Where it started, I have no clue. Our group of friends feel as if we are torn. I feel I have a loyalty to Kris. He was my first friend here, and was the one who showed me night life in Vegas. He has been there when I was bored, and he offered a friendly smile. Derek is becoming one of the most trusting friends I never thought I would find. He is so sweet and kind and willing to share anything with us. I just feel so torn. Kris hasn't talked to me since Monday night, and I swear I feel like he is pulling away. Every time I see him it just seems like he makes some comment to put me down. I want my old Kris back. I miss him. I miss my friend. And of course me being me, I just stay back and let whatever happen. Not quite sure what to do, really.

So, Derek has been going out with us a lot. He's like our new BFF! So, Friday night began with me joining my twin brother on the strip with his Navy buddies. Interesting group I suppose, but I let them be around 2:30ish, needing to go to work the next day. Saturday was mine and Paco's first date.... OK... Back story: I mentioned Paco before. He is such a nice guy, so funny! Cute! Well, I had confided in Kris that I liked someone, but informed him not to say anything to anyone. So, what does he do? Goes and tells Paco! So, Paco begins to ask me questions about when me and this guy are gonna go on a date. A full night of text messaging later, I inform Paco that I like him too! OK, back to the present.

So, Saturday night Paco and I go on our first date. We decided to go to Cheesecake Factory at Green Valley Ranch. Very good food! I had Cheese Cake Factory once before in Cleveland when I lived back home. But the situation at the time over shadowed the experience of Cheesecake Factory. Any who, so Paco and I do our dinner, and then we decide to join my brother once again up on the strip. Now, this might sound like Vegas residents often go to the Strip, since it is apparently the center of the world. But in all actuality, we try to stay away from it. This city has so much more to offer than the strip, and many people don't realize that! So, we make our way to the strip and hang out with my brother. We end up at Carnival Court outside of Harrah's. Nice place, like the atmosphere, but one problem; I had to pay a cover! One of the small perks of living in Las Vegas is that locals don't pay a cover charge! Well, this is true in the gay world at least!!! So, Paco and I hung out at Carnival Court for a small while, but he wasn't really having fun. Stick two gay men in a straight bar and we become confused! Man was not intended to grope and fondle woman parts! It is against gods will! So, we decided to leave. Mr. Paco has a trick up his sleeve tho... He asked if I wanted to go to the airport to watch the airplanes! Now, might sound a bit lame, but it was actually very romantic! Again, one problem... Apparently there is a time when the airport actually stops all air traffic, and no planes go in or out! So what was to be a romantic evening turned sour with our straight world experience and a no go on plane watching! But, we still were able to spend it together, and it was a very nice evening!

Sunday night was the Krave Foam Party, which was a freaking blast! My first ever! I came home soaked from head to toe. Everyone was there except for Kris. Derek stayed right up with me and Carrie the entire night!

Monday night we all decided to go to Freezone for the Karaoke. Derek sang a few songs, and we drank a little but, but a fun night still! Tuesday was drinks with Derek and Carrie at Escape, and Wednesday was dinner at Joyful house, and drinks at Escape. The only reason our weekend stopped, was that Derek and his husband Norman went to LA for a few days, leaving Carrie and I to fend for ourselves. We ended up staying home and eating In N Out Burger!

So, our weekend was sort of a rush. Derek is back again and so we are back into the swing of things! Tonight we have a small dinner for Paco and his friend, than Karaoke with Derek at Escape Lounge!

One month down!

Time is a funny thing: sometimes it feels like time has stopped all together, capturing you in a moment that can either be amazing, or heartbreaking. Writers utilize this time moment all the time, explaining that time seems to have stand still all together. Other times, time seems to speed up, like a race to the finish. These moments usually happen when we are late for work, and no matter what, that clock seems to start counting the minutes faster and faster! Time is a funny thing...

Its been a month since me and Carrie have moved here to Vegas! It seems much longer than a month has passed since we woke up that Thursday morning, shed some tears and goodbyes, and set out on our voyage. Its difficult to realize that within this past month, I have made new friends, had two jobs, and met several met on dates. How does one truly capture a new life and a new start within a month? My old life seems so far way now. The Credit Union, my friends, my family. Simple things here that are taken for granted seem to overshadow life back east, like weather, and the ability to get any food you desire by just going out your door!

Last night Carrie and I called on some friends to celebrate our one month anniversary at a local bar. A few friends bailed, as expected, but a few did show up! It was nice to have a place to go to hang out with friends, and just be relaxed. When driving home, we discussed that we absolutely love it here in Vegas. Everything in the world you could possibly want is here in Vegas, even New York City! (Or a smaller replica of it!). How could people not love it here!?

Thoughtful Moments

Sometimes when change happens and forces us to face that which we decided not to do, we must look at our situation with critical vision. This week seems to be a slow one for me dating wise. Only two. One was at Sunset Station, were me and Bob chose to eat at Guadalajara, and then we Bowled. I was fun actually! Slippery shoes, a beer, and a good night kiss! Seems kinda dull but it worked.

But, another aspect of Vegas is stating to happen. I am making friends... Friday night after the date with Bob I met up with Kris and we headed to the Escape Lounge. There, we met up with other friends, Paco, Spunky, Greg, Derek, and Norman. It was very relaxing to actually just be hanging out with guy friends. In Erie, this didn't happen. It seems that Erie was so against being a community, that they segregated themselves. I mention Paco here because he truly is so funny and great! I feel bad for the man because he went on a bad date. But, tonight Carrie and I are meeting up with everyone to go out to 8 1/2 Pirahna! Making friends seems to be the safest bet here in Vegas, and I'm glad I have found the ones I have!

Dueling Dating!

Movies and books have used the classic duel plot line over and over. A woman, enraptured by two men, makes them duel to win her love. Romantic, heartwarming, and an example of what true love is really about! But in the gay world, or at least where I am from, dueling can become more of a cat fight then a sword fight! It's hard to imagine that in the Erie area, one man could be dating two other men at the same time. Now, do not get this confused with cheating! Lets explore what dating truly is.

Back in the fifties and sixties, the rules of dating where re-written. When a boy fancied a girl, geewilikers, he would take her to a movie. When he decided he liked her, he would give her his letter jacket! I can only imagine that those hoop skirts worked perfectly to keep those boys at bay, lifting the skirts to the perfect height of touchy freely! But, dating was simple. If you liked someone, you dated that person, and dating was slow and simple. In today's modern world, dating is less of a state of being or stage of liking each other, and more of a verb to indicate being single, and going on multiple dates with many people.

And so, with it being set that in today's modern social world, dating is the action of going out on A date or many dates, I refer back to Erie. To have a man dating two other men at the same time just didn't happen. So, for me to be in a big city that has enough of a gay presence that any one man could be dating 2 other men, if not more, at the same time, can be a bit overwhelming. In this highly competitive dating arena, has dating become a duel to the end?

With this thought in mind, I must return to my current state of dating. It is sad to say that Brandon is out of the picture. The other morning I texted him inquiring when we would be meeting up again. This prompted his response of, "2012"... OK, fine. That's over. I guess I got my first taste of Vegas bitterness within the first 2 weeks of being here! But, as a fan of the British quote, "The Queen is dead, Long live the Queen" created to indicate that with the death of one Queen, another shall follow: I state that which is true in Vegas, "The date is dead, Long live the date!"

I contacted Peter the other evening about possibly getting dinner. He agreed, and we met at the Elephant Bar at a place called the District. This is a very nice shopping center with a lovely outdoor walking area. You can walk and browse the stores while outside enjoying the magnificent sun here in Las Vegas. So, I met peter in front of the Elephant Bar. But, the curious part about the event was that Peter was on the phone when I arrived. OK, so that wasn't the curious part. The curious part was that Peter was on the phone with another man, informing him that he liked him and wanted to see more of him. Now, I am incredibly analytical, so my mind was in overdrive at this point. I wasn't sure if I should walk away (not after buying a pair of new flip flops, obviously), or stay. I decided to stay, desiring a good meal! Peter got off the phone quickly, but not after informing the man that he would call him in a hour... Wow, an hour for our first date, this is looking promising! We entered the restaurant and were given a seat. We talked about a few things, this and that. The service was great. Our waitress was Katrina, who was a very open and friendly person. I almost felt like she was a friend that I haven't seen in long time. We both finished eating, with me in the mental state that this date was going no where fast. It turned out that we where there for about an hour and a half to two forty five minutes. After eating our desert, Peter requested we walk down the small road that leads through the District, in which I complied. We then made our way to the parking lot and to his car. After discussing a few topics, and of course stalling and some flirting, I began to proceed to my car. Peter stopped me, requesting that I come back. I took the small steps back to him, and we kissed....

And so, I am now thrown into the mix of a duel. Should I fight to win Peter's heart, or throw in the towel? It is no surprise that part of me wishes to peel my glove off, and smack the other man in the face! Game on! But another part of me says to back off. I do not like to cause troubles. But another thought crosses my mind; Should I have to fight to prove my like and intent for someone? Having to constantly feel like I must try and be better then the other man can sometimes make one feel under appreciated. And in the likely occurrence that he chooses the other man, and it fails, would I then be considered the second choice? Trying to change from my old ways of jumping into a relationship, I feel I must give it time. Only time will tell what will happen. I must ask myself though; At what point do you stop fighting, and demand a winner?!

The face of Change

Some times, you can't help but allow a life altering change to reignite a few passions of your own! Back in PA, I had sworn off dating for a quite a while. After my last ex (Carrie likes to state that he was not my ex, for we were only together for about 2 weeks) had pulled the good Ole' "Lets take a break" move on me, I had decided that me and dating were to take a break as well. I'll admit it, I suck at dating. It seems as though the rules of the game had passed me by sometime during high school. Being the only homo I knew of in my entire school did not help much. When planning the move to Vegas, my original intent was to stay dateless for while. Get settled, meet some friends; That's all I set out to do. It seems as though dating had different plans.

Enter Brandon. Within days of moving here, I already had my first date with him. Again, he made dinner, we had ice cream, we talked. At the current moment, he is playing the distance game. I'm not sure if he is just not interested, or just busy. With my new life and new personal rules of dating in mind, I must commit to my mindfulness: If he isn't interested, bow down. And so, that is what I will do. Why try to keep someones interest what it isn't present to begin with? I could be wrong, and he could just be busy with work and life. If he truly is interested, he will make his intentions known, and I will move on from there.

But, in the mean time... Enter Peter... Back story:
Upon moving to Vegas I had met a few friends. Kris and I have become friends quickly, and he has shown me many places and things to do here that were not available to me back in PA. I thank him every time he shows me something new. Through him, I met a few other friends. He introduced me to a few people at Towne Square, and the other night I met him at Freezone for Karaoke. I had a blast, making fun of the people singing, and also singing along ourselves! I got a few numbers that night from the girls who were with him, and I am excited to know that I am making friends as I go. But, I digress. That night I went to Pirahna to meet Marc, another man I have been talking to on Adam4Adam. We are just friends as well, but I wanted to officially make an introduction. Needless to say, we never got to see each other at Pirahna. Its very dark in one side of the bar, so seeing people can be difficult. While at Pirahna, I met Peter. He was friends with the girls I was with as well. We hung out with Peter for a while, and later in the night the girls left me. I was quite fine with this, being that I was with Peter. Now, Peter seemed friendly at first, but I never thought he liked me. By around 3:30, I was getting tired of dancing and so was Peter, so we decided to leave. As we were talking back to our cars, I thanked Peter for hanging out with me. What can I say... I must be polite! But the best was yet to come. Amidst our talking, Peter had made his intention known that he liked me. After some awkward moments strewn between flirting, Peter and I kissed. He is a very good kisser, I must admit. That's as far as our play time went. We traded phone numbers, and I would really like to get to know him more. No dates have been set, but I'm hoping something gets worked out soon. He seems like a really nice guy...

I tried to break up with dating, but dating refused to go... Should I get a restraining order?

The kiss of death!

The grand ritual of dating has gone on for many years. It has seen evolution, the likes that have bypass human understanding. I have decided to take on some new rules while being here in the new city, and while trying to set up a new life. I am going to try the age Ole' trick of waiting. Playing the game out and seeing if the man is truly "Man enough" to be my man. I will admit it, I like my man to be assertive, confident, maybe a little cocky. This leads me to the current events. Tonight I had the pleasure of hanging out with Brandon again, the one from the Air force Base. He invited me to come with him while he checked out a new apartment. He is seeking a new place with a room mate, claiming he can't afford his current place. So, I agreed and headed over to his place.

The drive was about 30 minutes to the apartment, and the same back. He really didn't like what he saw, but told the guy he would call him. On the way back, Brandon mentioned going to the East side Cannery to play some blackjack, so that is what we did! We were there for about half an hour. I think we seemed to interact OK. He was quite intrigued to find out I had categories of men, and wanted to know what category he was in. I did not give him this information right off the bat, I just let it go. Afterwards, I we were back in his parking lot, and I was at my car, saying goodbye. Now, it has been known to me that there should be a goodnight kiss at the end of a date.... So, like usual, I eagerly waited this kiss. Brandon approached me, and we had a small bit of friendly banter. A chuckle here, a giggle there... Still, I waited on baited breath. Will he kiss me, or not? And to my dismay... It was a not... All I got was a friendly hug. If a man so interested in what category I am, and even informed me that he was interested in me, is so interested... Why didn't he kiss me?

Now, one must analyze the situation fully, and being a true Gemini, I always analyze. Quickly my mind went to work. Does he like me? He mentioned other men he was talking too, was this a ploy to see how I felt? Maybe he isn't interested... So, I decided to text him, and informed him his category was Dating. He seemed to like that. So, daring as I am, I informed him that this category might change since I did not receive my goodnight kiss. Two can play the mind game. He responded that he can not give all of his goodness at once........... WTF does that mean?! This man truly knows how to play the game. And I, being an armature, am completely befuddled. Time will tell. But, it does beg the question: Is the lack of a goodnight kiss really just the Kiss of Death?! Until next time!