Sometimes when change happens and forces us to face that which we decided not to do, we must look at our situation with critical vision. This week seems to be a slow one for me dating wise. Only two. One was at Sunset Station, were me and Bob chose to eat at Guadalajara, and then we Bowled. I was fun actually! Slippery shoes, a beer, and a good night kiss! Seems kinda dull but it worked.
But, another aspect of Vegas is stating to happen. I am making friends... Friday night after the date with Bob I met up with Kris and we headed to the Escape Lounge. There, we met up with other friends, Paco, Spunky, Greg, Derek, and Norman. It was very relaxing to actually just be hanging out with guy friends. In Erie, this didn't happen. It seems that Erie was so against being a community, that they segregated themselves. I mention Paco here because he truly is so funny and great! I feel bad for the man because he went on a bad date. But, tonight Carrie and I are meeting up with everyone to go out to 8 1/2 Pirahna! Making friends seems to be the safest bet here in Vegas, and I'm glad I have found the ones I have!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Dueling Dating!
Movies and books have used the classic duel plot line over and over. A woman, enraptured by two men, makes them duel to win her love. Romantic, heartwarming, and an example of what true love is really about! But in the gay world, or at least where I am from, dueling can become more of a cat fight then a sword fight! It's hard to imagine that in the Erie area, one man could be dating two other men at the same time. Now, do not get this confused with cheating! Lets explore what dating truly is.
Back in the fifties and sixties, the rules of dating where re-written. When a boy fancied a girl, geewilikers, he would take her to a movie. When he decided he liked her, he would give her his letter jacket! I can only imagine that those hoop skirts worked perfectly to keep those boys at bay, lifting the skirts to the perfect height of touchy freely! But, dating was simple. If you liked someone, you dated that person, and dating was slow and simple. In today's modern world, dating is less of a state of being or stage of liking each other, and more of a verb to indicate being single, and going on multiple dates with many people.
And so, with it being set that in today's modern social world, dating is the action of going out on A date or many dates, I refer back to Erie. To have a man dating two other men at the same time just didn't happen. So, for me to be in a big city that has enough of a gay presence that any one man could be dating 2 other men, if not more, at the same time, can be a bit overwhelming. In this highly competitive dating arena, has dating become a duel to the end?
With this thought in mind, I must return to my current state of dating. It is sad to say that Brandon is out of the picture. The other morning I texted him inquiring when we would be meeting up again. This prompted his response of, "2012"... OK, fine. That's over. I guess I got my first taste of Vegas bitterness within the first 2 weeks of being here! But, as a fan of the British quote, "The Queen is dead, Long live the Queen" created to indicate that with the death of one Queen, another shall follow: I state that which is true in Vegas, "The date is dead, Long live the date!"
I contacted Peter the other evening about possibly getting dinner. He agreed, and we met at the Elephant Bar at a place called the District. This is a very nice shopping center with a lovely outdoor walking area. You can walk and browse the stores while outside enjoying the magnificent sun here in Las Vegas. So, I met peter in front of the Elephant Bar. But, the curious part about the event was that Peter was on the phone when I arrived. OK, so that wasn't the curious part. The curious part was that Peter was on the phone with another man, informing him that he liked him and wanted to see more of him. Now, I am incredibly analytical, so my mind was in overdrive at this point. I wasn't sure if I should walk away (not after buying a pair of new flip flops, obviously), or stay. I decided to stay, desiring a good meal! Peter got off the phone quickly, but not after informing the man that he would call him in a hour... Wow, an hour for our first date, this is looking promising! We entered the restaurant and were given a seat. We talked about a few things, this and that. The service was great. Our waitress was Katrina, who was a very open and friendly person. I almost felt like she was a friend that I haven't seen in long time. We both finished eating, with me in the mental state that this date was going no where fast. It turned out that we where there for about an hour and a half to two forty five minutes. After eating our desert, Peter requested we walk down the small road that leads through the District, in which I complied. We then made our way to the parking lot and to his car. After discussing a few topics, and of course stalling and some flirting, I began to proceed to my car. Peter stopped me, requesting that I come back. I took the small steps back to him, and we kissed....
And so, I am now thrown into the mix of a duel. Should I fight to win Peter's heart, or throw in the towel? It is no surprise that part of me wishes to peel my glove off, and smack the other man in the face! Game on! But another part of me says to back off. I do not like to cause troubles. But another thought crosses my mind; Should I have to fight to prove my like and intent for someone? Having to constantly feel like I must try and be better then the other man can sometimes make one feel under appreciated. And in the likely occurrence that he chooses the other man, and it fails, would I then be considered the second choice? Trying to change from my old ways of jumping into a relationship, I feel I must give it time. Only time will tell what will happen. I must ask myself though; At what point do you stop fighting, and demand a winner?!
Back in the fifties and sixties, the rules of dating where re-written. When a boy fancied a girl, geewilikers, he would take her to a movie. When he decided he liked her, he would give her his letter jacket! I can only imagine that those hoop skirts worked perfectly to keep those boys at bay, lifting the skirts to the perfect height of touchy freely! But, dating was simple. If you liked someone, you dated that person, and dating was slow and simple. In today's modern world, dating is less of a state of being or stage of liking each other, and more of a verb to indicate being single, and going on multiple dates with many people.
And so, with it being set that in today's modern social world, dating is the action of going out on A date or many dates, I refer back to Erie. To have a man dating two other men at the same time just didn't happen. So, for me to be in a big city that has enough of a gay presence that any one man could be dating 2 other men, if not more, at the same time, can be a bit overwhelming. In this highly competitive dating arena, has dating become a duel to the end?
With this thought in mind, I must return to my current state of dating. It is sad to say that Brandon is out of the picture. The other morning I texted him inquiring when we would be meeting up again. This prompted his response of, "2012"... OK, fine. That's over. I guess I got my first taste of Vegas bitterness within the first 2 weeks of being here! But, as a fan of the British quote, "The Queen is dead, Long live the Queen" created to indicate that with the death of one Queen, another shall follow: I state that which is true in Vegas, "The date is dead, Long live the date!"
I contacted Peter the other evening about possibly getting dinner. He agreed, and we met at the Elephant Bar at a place called the District. This is a very nice shopping center with a lovely outdoor walking area. You can walk and browse the stores while outside enjoying the magnificent sun here in Las Vegas. So, I met peter in front of the Elephant Bar. But, the curious part about the event was that Peter was on the phone when I arrived. OK, so that wasn't the curious part. The curious part was that Peter was on the phone with another man, informing him that he liked him and wanted to see more of him. Now, I am incredibly analytical, so my mind was in overdrive at this point. I wasn't sure if I should walk away (not after buying a pair of new flip flops, obviously), or stay. I decided to stay, desiring a good meal! Peter got off the phone quickly, but not after informing the man that he would call him in a hour... Wow, an hour for our first date, this is looking promising! We entered the restaurant and were given a seat. We talked about a few things, this and that. The service was great. Our waitress was Katrina, who was a very open and friendly person. I almost felt like she was a friend that I haven't seen in long time. We both finished eating, with me in the mental state that this date was going no where fast. It turned out that we where there for about an hour and a half to two forty five minutes. After eating our desert, Peter requested we walk down the small road that leads through the District, in which I complied. We then made our way to the parking lot and to his car. After discussing a few topics, and of course stalling and some flirting, I began to proceed to my car. Peter stopped me, requesting that I come back. I took the small steps back to him, and we kissed....
And so, I am now thrown into the mix of a duel. Should I fight to win Peter's heart, or throw in the towel? It is no surprise that part of me wishes to peel my glove off, and smack the other man in the face! Game on! But another part of me says to back off. I do not like to cause troubles. But another thought crosses my mind; Should I have to fight to prove my like and intent for someone? Having to constantly feel like I must try and be better then the other man can sometimes make one feel under appreciated. And in the likely occurrence that he chooses the other man, and it fails, would I then be considered the second choice? Trying to change from my old ways of jumping into a relationship, I feel I must give it time. Only time will tell what will happen. I must ask myself though; At what point do you stop fighting, and demand a winner?!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The face of Change
Some times, you can't help but allow a life altering change to reignite a few passions of your own! Back in PA, I had sworn off dating for a quite a while. After my last ex (Carrie likes to state that he was not my ex, for we were only together for about 2 weeks) had pulled the good Ole' "Lets take a break" move on me, I had decided that me and dating were to take a break as well. I'll admit it, I suck at dating. It seems as though the rules of the game had passed me by sometime during high school. Being the only homo I knew of in my entire school did not help much. When planning the move to Vegas, my original intent was to stay dateless for while. Get settled, meet some friends; That's all I set out to do. It seems as though dating had different plans.
Enter Brandon. Within days of moving here, I already had my first date with him. Again, he made dinner, we had ice cream, we talked. At the current moment, he is playing the distance game. I'm not sure if he is just not interested, or just busy. With my new life and new personal rules of dating in mind, I must commit to my mindfulness: If he isn't interested, bow down. And so, that is what I will do. Why try to keep someones interest what it isn't present to begin with? I could be wrong, and he could just be busy with work and life. If he truly is interested, he will make his intentions known, and I will move on from there.
But, in the mean time... Enter Peter... Back story:
Upon moving to Vegas I had met a few friends. Kris and I have become friends quickly, and he has shown me many places and things to do here that were not available to me back in PA. I thank him every time he shows me something new. Through him, I met a few other friends. He introduced me to a few people at Towne Square, and the other night I met him at Freezone for Karaoke. I had a blast, making fun of the people singing, and also singing along ourselves! I got a few numbers that night from the girls who were with him, and I am excited to know that I am making friends as I go. But, I digress. That night I went to Pirahna to meet Marc, another man I have been talking to on Adam4Adam. We are just friends as well, but I wanted to officially make an introduction. Needless to say, we never got to see each other at Pirahna. Its very dark in one side of the bar, so seeing people can be difficult. While at Pirahna, I met Peter. He was friends with the girls I was with as well. We hung out with Peter for a while, and later in the night the girls left me. I was quite fine with this, being that I was with Peter. Now, Peter seemed friendly at first, but I never thought he liked me. By around 3:30, I was getting tired of dancing and so was Peter, so we decided to leave. As we were talking back to our cars, I thanked Peter for hanging out with me. What can I say... I must be polite! But the best was yet to come. Amidst our talking, Peter had made his intention known that he liked me. After some awkward moments strewn between flirting, Peter and I kissed. He is a very good kisser, I must admit. That's as far as our play time went. We traded phone numbers, and I would really like to get to know him more. No dates have been set, but I'm hoping something gets worked out soon. He seems like a really nice guy...
I tried to break up with dating, but dating refused to go... Should I get a restraining order?
Enter Brandon. Within days of moving here, I already had my first date with him. Again, he made dinner, we had ice cream, we talked. At the current moment, he is playing the distance game. I'm not sure if he is just not interested, or just busy. With my new life and new personal rules of dating in mind, I must commit to my mindfulness: If he isn't interested, bow down. And so, that is what I will do. Why try to keep someones interest what it isn't present to begin with? I could be wrong, and he could just be busy with work and life. If he truly is interested, he will make his intentions known, and I will move on from there.
But, in the mean time... Enter Peter... Back story:
Upon moving to Vegas I had met a few friends. Kris and I have become friends quickly, and he has shown me many places and things to do here that were not available to me back in PA. I thank him every time he shows me something new. Through him, I met a few other friends. He introduced me to a few people at Towne Square, and the other night I met him at Freezone for Karaoke. I had a blast, making fun of the people singing, and also singing along ourselves! I got a few numbers that night from the girls who were with him, and I am excited to know that I am making friends as I go. But, I digress. That night I went to Pirahna to meet Marc, another man I have been talking to on Adam4Adam. We are just friends as well, but I wanted to officially make an introduction. Needless to say, we never got to see each other at Pirahna. Its very dark in one side of the bar, so seeing people can be difficult. While at Pirahna, I met Peter. He was friends with the girls I was with as well. We hung out with Peter for a while, and later in the night the girls left me. I was quite fine with this, being that I was with Peter. Now, Peter seemed friendly at first, but I never thought he liked me. By around 3:30, I was getting tired of dancing and so was Peter, so we decided to leave. As we were talking back to our cars, I thanked Peter for hanging out with me. What can I say... I must be polite! But the best was yet to come. Amidst our talking, Peter had made his intention known that he liked me. After some awkward moments strewn between flirting, Peter and I kissed. He is a very good kisser, I must admit. That's as far as our play time went. We traded phone numbers, and I would really like to get to know him more. No dates have been set, but I'm hoping something gets worked out soon. He seems like a really nice guy...
I tried to break up with dating, but dating refused to go... Should I get a restraining order?
Friday, August 7, 2009
The kiss of death!
The grand ritual of dating has gone on for many years. It has seen evolution, the likes that have bypass human understanding. I have decided to take on some new rules while being here in the new city, and while trying to set up a new life. I am going to try the age Ole' trick of waiting. Playing the game out and seeing if the man is truly "Man enough" to be my man. I will admit it, I like my man to be assertive, confident, maybe a little cocky. This leads me to the current events. Tonight I had the pleasure of hanging out with Brandon again, the one from the Air force Base. He invited me to come with him while he checked out a new apartment. He is seeking a new place with a room mate, claiming he can't afford his current place. So, I agreed and headed over to his place.
The drive was about 30 minutes to the apartment, and the same back. He really didn't like what he saw, but told the guy he would call him. On the way back, Brandon mentioned going to the East side Cannery to play some blackjack, so that is what we did! We were there for about half an hour. I think we seemed to interact OK. He was quite intrigued to find out I had categories of men, and wanted to know what category he was in. I did not give him this information right off the bat, I just let it go. Afterwards, I we were back in his parking lot, and I was at my car, saying goodbye. Now, it has been known to me that there should be a goodnight kiss at the end of a date.... So, like usual, I eagerly waited this kiss. Brandon approached me, and we had a small bit of friendly banter. A chuckle here, a giggle there... Still, I waited on baited breath. Will he kiss me, or not? And to my dismay... It was a not... All I got was a friendly hug. If a man so interested in what category I am, and even informed me that he was interested in me, is so interested... Why didn't he kiss me?
Now, one must analyze the situation fully, and being a true Gemini, I always analyze. Quickly my mind went to work. Does he like me? He mentioned other men he was talking too, was this a ploy to see how I felt? Maybe he isn't interested... So, I decided to text him, and informed him his category was Dating. He seemed to like that. So, daring as I am, I informed him that this category might change since I did not receive my goodnight kiss. Two can play the mind game. He responded that he can not give all of his goodness at once........... WTF does that mean?! This man truly knows how to play the game. And I, being an armature, am completely befuddled. Time will tell. But, it does beg the question: Is the lack of a goodnight kiss really just the Kiss of Death?! Until next time!
The drive was about 30 minutes to the apartment, and the same back. He really didn't like what he saw, but told the guy he would call him. On the way back, Brandon mentioned going to the East side Cannery to play some blackjack, so that is what we did! We were there for about half an hour. I think we seemed to interact OK. He was quite intrigued to find out I had categories of men, and wanted to know what category he was in. I did not give him this information right off the bat, I just let it go. Afterwards, I we were back in his parking lot, and I was at my car, saying goodbye. Now, it has been known to me that there should be a goodnight kiss at the end of a date.... So, like usual, I eagerly waited this kiss. Brandon approached me, and we had a small bit of friendly banter. A chuckle here, a giggle there... Still, I waited on baited breath. Will he kiss me, or not? And to my dismay... It was a not... All I got was a friendly hug. If a man so interested in what category I am, and even informed me that he was interested in me, is so interested... Why didn't he kiss me?
Now, one must analyze the situation fully, and being a true Gemini, I always analyze. Quickly my mind went to work. Does he like me? He mentioned other men he was talking too, was this a ploy to see how I felt? Maybe he isn't interested... So, I decided to text him, and informed him his category was Dating. He seemed to like that. So, daring as I am, I informed him that this category might change since I did not receive my goodnight kiss. Two can play the mind game. He responded that he can not give all of his goodness at once........... WTF does that mean?! This man truly knows how to play the game. And I, being an armature, am completely befuddled. Time will tell. But, it does beg the question: Is the lack of a goodnight kiss really just the Kiss of Death?! Until next time!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Socially connected!
Social networking... The event of mingling with people you hardly know to try and get resources for things you want. It has become known to me that maybe, in order to get a good job, I should put myself out there and utilize social networking. Kris, one of the men I met the other night, knows many people, so he might be able to introduce me to someone who will present me with an opportunity. Needless to say, he is turning out to be a good friend, so his resources are only for business purposes only, I do enjoy hanging out with him. But, in the land of the new, connections can get you anywhere. In PA, it was such a small town that social networking really didn't work too well, for everyone knew everyone, and resources were not a needed... resource! So here's to trying to social network. Things will be differ ant here in Vegas. I will be more personable, more open to friendships, more charming! Off to see Kris!!!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Tides of Men...
Coming from a small town, I am not very accustomed to being asked out on dates. This week I have probably had more requests, though through Adam4Adam, then I get in a year back in Erie. Now, some men you meet them, and they go into one of 3 categories.
For Example:
Kris: Works up in Summerlin in a banking facility. Cute, dorky (His words)! Category - Friends...
Just telling someone you want to be just friends can be scary enough, but I truly feel that this type of person has a connection different than others. Friends are a vibe without sexual desire. They just are, nothing beyond. I am in a new city, without a job... I can not be going off and dating tons of men! But Kris is cool! Gonna hang out with him later tonight again!
Brandon: Works up at the air force base. Cute, Masculine, Assertive. Category - Dating.
Monday night was officially my first date in Las Vegas. I went over to his place and he made me dinner. Grilled Chicken with potatoes and green beans. Great meal! He is a really good cook! Afterwards we went for ice cream. I promised Carrie I wouldn't have sex with him, and I stuck to my guns! We might have fooled around a bit, but it was all in good play! Would I see him again? I can not be certain... I would like to do dinner again, maybe once I have a job! He might not want the same, but time will tell!
And the last Category - No! Men who I just plain ol' say no too! But, in the spirit of trying to be a new person, I have dedicated myself to being much more truthful then I have been! So, I will inform the ones who go in the No Category, that I am not interested. How many times I have laid in bed wondering if I am a No, Friends, or Dating kind of person. By being upfront and truthful, I hope to alleviate that stress that maybe put onto others!
For Example:
Kris: Works up in Summerlin in a banking facility. Cute, dorky (His words)! Category - Friends...
Just telling someone you want to be just friends can be scary enough, but I truly feel that this type of person has a connection different than others. Friends are a vibe without sexual desire. They just are, nothing beyond. I am in a new city, without a job... I can not be going off and dating tons of men! But Kris is cool! Gonna hang out with him later tonight again!
Brandon: Works up at the air force base. Cute, Masculine, Assertive. Category - Dating.
Monday night was officially my first date in Las Vegas. I went over to his place and he made me dinner. Grilled Chicken with potatoes and green beans. Great meal! He is a really good cook! Afterwards we went for ice cream. I promised Carrie I wouldn't have sex with him, and I stuck to my guns! We might have fooled around a bit, but it was all in good play! Would I see him again? I can not be certain... I would like to do dinner again, maybe once I have a job! He might not want the same, but time will tell!
And the last Category - No! Men who I just plain ol' say no too! But, in the spirit of trying to be a new person, I have dedicated myself to being much more truthful then I have been! So, I will inform the ones who go in the No Category, that I am not interested. How many times I have laid in bed wondering if I am a No, Friends, or Dating kind of person. By being upfront and truthful, I hope to alleviate that stress that maybe put onto others!
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