Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Goodbye's...

And so the count down to my new life begins. One day, two nights remaining. This past weekend I went out one last time in Erie to The Zone. Cathy took me out as a final fair well. The one person whom I wanted to see before I left did not show up. I was kinda disappointing. It just goes to show why I want to move so much. The prospect of a new life, and new people, excites me. I have been talking to several men in Las Vegas through Adam4Adam and might have a few meetings lined up. That's more than I can say for the Corry Area. The only thing holding me back here is my family. I have sort of gotten to know them all over again here in the past month leading up to this move. Leaving them was pretty hard. They all have pleasant goodbyes and hopeful wishes for me in my new life. Some of them I may never see again... Some I will miss the time we had together this past month... Maybe I'll even miss Corry too.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Decisions, Decisions....

In every life, there are great and grand decisions that must be made. Do I pick the red one, or the blue one? Trade it in, or pay it off? 2 pairs of the jeans that fit, or 1 pair of sandals you just can't live without...? Moving to Vegas has definitely created some new decisions. Which jeans do I take. Which shirts do I get rid of? A gay man never truly knows how vast his closet is until its time to weed it out. Shirt after shirt, slacks after slacks, I have slowly rid my closet of clothing that I don't wear or use anymore. My general theory: If I say, 'I might wear it', that means I won't. So, do the donation bag it goes! But its hard when you have so many cloths you wear, and have created so many nice outfits from them! Its also memory lane in a way. Oh look, my green sweater vest.... I remember the first time I wore that to work, everyone said i looked great! Over time I paired it up with pink ties, numerous colors of button up shirts, and I even sported the good Ole' white tee shirt with it (Every man should try this. Sometimes is amazing what makes a man look hot!)! Oh, my french cuff pinstripe shirt... How fancy I felt wearing it. All these cloths and I literally have to choose which ones to take and which ones to not?! That's like asking which child is your favorite (Its always the oldest...)! No gay man alive can take that trip down clothing lane and truly come out without tears! But, alas, I must do what I have to do. Packing your life into 4 boxes can be tough.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The distance of the heart!

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.... I wonder, does always have to involve a person? For the last two weeks since we have known about our move to Las Vegas, I have been hanging out in the Las Vegas section of Adam4Adam. I have also updated my profiles on Manhunt and soon to be Recon. Since I changed over, I have been in constant communication with someone in Las Vegas. Every night is filled with discussions about 'What are you into?' and 'What do you like most about Vegas?'. This is an amazing transition from the Erie area gay community. I could spend hours in the Erie chat room on Gay.com and never even talk to anyone. Same goes with Adam4Adam and Manhunt. This only makes me want to make the move happen even sooner! Somehow I feel wanted already. Why is it that a move such as this can make all the difference? Remember back in high school when you would try to hang out with the popular kids just to look better? It was called hot by association. I wonder if that works in location proximity. I will become hot by location association!

Monday, July 6, 2009

The tides of change.

Every story is the same; Somehow, you just knew you were different than anyone else. Realizing your gay can be hard, but being gay in a small town can be worse. In high school, the boys would make fun of me, calling me names and making me feel lower then them. I would date girls just to try and cover up the fact that I was gay. I promised myself that on graduation day, I would come out of the closet, and be free! To my own self i was true. I threw my cap into the air, and out I came.

I always felt that my experience with discrimination really did not go too far. One time when I working at a video store, some guys walked in and called me a fag. That was really the full extent of my worse experience. At least from the straight world. Now, the gay world is different. Seems like everyone is out to judge and discriminate each other. The daddies don't like the twinks, the jocks don't like the queens, the fit don't like the chubs, vanilla doesn't like the leather. No matter who you are, some group doesn't like you. I had always thought that since I was gay, anyone who was gay would like me, no matter what. Even if it was just as friends, gay men should like gay men!

When I started going out to the clubs and hanging out with men, I slowly saw a split happening. No one likes anyone else in the gay world! I'm hoping this perception is only one that exists in the Erie area. I own this fact to the lack of sun. They say that people who see sun more then rain are happier people. Maybe Vegas will offer happier homo's. Happier homo's make happier groups, and maybe less discrimination!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

A big move....

So it is official.... I am moving to Las Vegas! I never would have imagined in my life that I would be moving to such a large city. Many of the people I talk to on Adam4Adam.com say that Vegas is not a big city, just a tourist town. Well, for this small town boy, it is definitely a BIG city! Moving from Corry Pa to Las Vegas is the most scary feeling ever! The dating options in this part of of the world are slim to none. Having to drive at least an hour just to get to the restaurant the date is taking place can be quite a drive. Being able to be in the same city as my date is exciting enough! I hope to share here what it is like to be gay in Las Vegas, and also to view the city from a newbies eyes.